SNEED

Scoopsville . . .

Sneed hears rumbles that federal grand jury subpoenas wereissued to a gaggle of employees at the Chicago Stadium box officeduring the past few weeks. To wit: The feds are probing a ticket-scalping scam that allegedly defraudedmegabucks from the Chicago Bulls. The feds were told the employees scalped unused season tickets andbootlegged them at exorbitant prices. At least three employees weredischarged four months ago. The scam was reportedly unknown to Bullsmanagement and could involve up to 20 percent of the tickets sold foreach game. The scam might include Hawks tickets, too. Sneed tipped the federal probe on May 28. Hellooooo, Walterrrrrr

Ring. Ring. Hello, Walter. Walter Jacobson, Fox 32's newmega-anchor. The guy who luvvvvs to tweak geeks for messin' up. Isit true you were stopped going 70 m.p.h. in a 55-m.p.h. zone andticketed for having an expired license plate, no city sticker, andfor driving without a seat belt a week ago? Answer: "Yes, I did receive the tickets," Jacobson told Sneed. "Yousee, I was late to my kid's birthday party and, in addition, all myforms for license renewal were still packed away in boxes due to themove. But I've sent everything in now." We knew Walter would do theright thing. Hmmm. That wasn't Walter trying to squeeze his 18-foot car into a17-foot space on Belden Street Sunday night, getting additionaltickets from a cop? Nawwwwwww. The Police Blotter . . .

Dateline: The Brutality Line? - Does Chicago have its own RodneyKing police brutality case brewing? According to a $4 million 1991federal court suit, which goes before Judge James Alesia on Aug. 16,a 34-year-old black Chicagoan claims he was viciously beaten by fourwhite Chicago police officers on Sept. 28, 1990. The suit was filedby Paul Grant, who was charged with disorderly conduct for loiteringin a North Side building. Grant's attorney, Timothy J. Touhy, claims the four cops broke everybone in Grant's face, knocked out his teeth and caused brain injuriesafter handcuffing Grant's hands behind his back and beating him witha flashlight - and when some of the building's residents attempted tostop the beating, they were told to mind their own business. Staytuned. File 'em . . .

The Big Kahunaaaa - Sneed hears Cook County Board PresidentRichard Phelan, who just filed campaign financial disclosure reportsshowing he had $1.5 million cash on hand June 30 - and then raisedanother $200,000 in July - is cookin' big time! Translation:Phelan's war chest for the governor's race is bigger than any otherDem gubernatorial challenger in the nation - except for Californiastate Treasurer Kathleen Brown. Local Lore . . .

Film producer Albert Berger, son of Chicago architecturalmaven Miles Berger and wife Sally, hits town tomorrow to attend theChicago premiere at the Fine Arts Theatre of the film "King of theHill," based on author A. E. Hotchner's novel. (Hotchner's bestfriend, actor Paul Newman, threw the film's New York premiererecently.) Also joining Berger and co-producer Barbara Maltby at thepremiere will be Hotchner and the film's director, Steven ("sex, lies& videotape") Soderbergh. Nunsense . . .

Garb gab: During a break in the filming of "Sister Act II" inSan Francisco, actress Whoopi Goldberg suggested to her "sisters"that they go shopping. So they did - while in costume. Among thestores they visited: Giorgio Armani. Ehhhhhhhhh? . . .

Oscar-winning Anthony Hopkins ("Silence of the Lambs") is thehoped-for star of a bio-pic about deaf composer Ludwig van Beethoven.Mel Gibson's company is producing. Giddy Up! . . .

Back in the saddle . . . again . . . and again and - actor GeneHackman, who won an Oscar for "Unforgiven," has just wrapped work on"Geronimo" opposite Julia Roberts' old flame Jason Patric. He nextrides off to play the bad guy opposite Sharon Stone (as a galgunslinger) in "The Quick and the Dead." And he'll do a small rolein Kevin Costner's "Wyatt Earp" pic. Who says the Western is dead? Sneedlings . . .

Congratulations to entrepreneur Nelson Carlo and his betrothed,Maritza Marrero, who are tying the knot Aug. 14. . . . Basketballlegend Wilt Chamberlain was at the Four Seasons last weekend. . . .Today's birthdays: Martin Sheen, 53; Tony Bennett, 67; Roland Burris,56; Samantha Thompson, 15.